Good morning! Today I am blog swapping with Daisy from When Life Gives You Lemons, Add Vodka. So after reading her post, head over to her site for my post about Zero Food Waste!
Daisy is a Canadian blogger who runs the blog When Life Gives You Lemons, Add Vodka. When she’s not grappling for self-improvement on her blog and Twitter, she spends copious amounts of her not-so-free time perusing Pinterest and daydreaming. You can follow her on Twitter or contact her at [email protected].
Nobody will deny this: money and relationships are tricky. I doubt that will ever change. They conflict with each other. Money is a stressor, love is a relaxer. Money is the “root of all evil”, and love is the root of all good.
And since everyone has to deal with money in some way, it’s going to affect a relationship.
I can say with some surety that my partner and I have a mostly harmonious relationship when it comes to money, and here is why:
We Addressed It At the Beginning
This wasn’t intentional because we were young and didn’t know anything about money, but when my partner and I first met, we addressed the money issue within months of our relationship.
I have always known how much money he made, and he has always known what I made. We’ve always known each other’s pay schedules, how much one another had in savings (or debt, in my case) and what our struggles were.
We’ve been together since I was 18 and he was 22, and back then, we didn’t know what we were doing with money. We’re lucky we addressed it at the beginning.
It’s All Out in the Open
We’ve never kept secrets from one another when it comes to money. As I mentioned, we know each other’s savings, debts, and goals.
This makes it a bit hard to surprise him (and for him to surprise me) with something that’s a little expensive, because we would notice the money coming out of our accounts.
I think this is extremely important when it comes to money and relationships. Being transparent and not hiding anything from your partner is a cornerstone of success. Even hiding small purchases is extremely dangerous.
Secrecy with money is a breeding ground for other problems in a relationship.
We Have Our Own Money
I am one of those people that think it’s dangerous to combine finances completely. I’m not saying that having a couple of shared accounts is bad, and we’ll probably do that when we’ve tied the knot. But having our own money, in our own accounts, away from the scrutiny of the other, is a very important factor in our good money relationship.
We have completely separate finances right now, as we are not yet married. We know the passwords to one another’s online banking, so it truly is all out in the open.
When we are married we will maintain our own savings and retirement accounts. We will be opening a shared account when we purchase a house together.
We are not the same person so it’s important to maintain our own money as well.
We Are Individuals
The above point brings me to the this:
We are individuals. We have different goals, different aspirations, different priorities for our money.
This doesn’t mean that we’re not a good match, and that we don’t share some of the same goals, but rather that we’ve been able to maintain our individuality throughout our relationship.
Because of these differences, we have learned to respect each other’s financial goals and encourage each other to meet those goals, but also work toward our own.
I don’t expect my partner to invest in my early retirement, as he wants to continue working. He doesn’t expect me to shell out some cash to fix up his fishing boat (a project he has going on right now).
Spending your life with somebody should not mean living that somebody’s life. A crucial part of having a harmonious relationship with your partner over money is respecting that person’s financial goals.
Relationships can easily be negatively affected by money issues, and we avoid those issues by ensuring we are transparent, give each other some freedom, and respect each other’s goals.