Morning! Today I am happy to welcome Joe Saul-Sehy who will talk about how having mentors can push you to achieve much more than you thought possible. Let me know if you would like to guest post on RFI. A new post is up on Make Money Your Way about how you can market your skills and find a tutoring gig. Head over there to find more!
On the edge of my desk sits a square called “Life Coach in a Box.” I bought it off one of those discount tables at Barnes and Noble. How awesome, I thought, I’ve paid coaches before but now I can harness the power of coaching without having to talk to anybody.
That’s like Chicken Soup for my cheap-ass introverted soul.
I’ve never opened it.
If there are secrets out there that we need to find, we think we’d go seek them out. I certainly do. You can find me at least once a day lost in a Bing search (I use Bing because they give rewards for searching, people….I love free Amazon bucks…..) on an arcane topic. But great coaches don’t replace Bing. A great coach gets rid of the searches and points out the important morsels.
My History of Coaches
Seriously, I first hired a life coach because I was curious. I’d never had one before and personally thought it sounded like a colossal waste of money. Life coach. Who the hell needs some woman telling me how to live my life? Hell, I have a spouse and a daughter, and they give me plenty of err…strategies…that I can improve. Believe me…. suggestions galore.
This particular life coach woman happened to be considering me to manage some money at the same time. I thought, “Well, she’s trying out my service, I should try out hers.”
It blew me away.
Changes I Never Imagined
The first thing we did was complete a survey called “The Wheel.” It was a simple pie chart on a sheet of paper. I don’t remember all of the categories anymore, but they were simple: Spirituality, Work, Friends, Children, Spouse, Finances, Health, Mental Health. My job was to rate each of these on a scale of 1 – 10. Then we discussed the specific reasons why I’d rated some areas a “5” while others scored a “9.”
During these discussions my new coach remarked people had a tendency to focus on the negative. Although we were going to work on those, we were going to first focus on the positives and make sure that we leaned on these. There are reasons that I excel in some areas of life: I’d created successful systems in those particular places. The challenge was going to be to study those successes and attempt to replicate those in other areas of life, so that I’d achieve the results we wanted.
I learned a few great lessons:
- Schedule time. I was great at my job because I had a strict schedule. If I did this in other, not-as-successful parts of my life, I’d have a shot of success there, also.
- Remember my body rhythm. I’m a morning person. This created problems when it came to health because I was trying to work out in the afternoon, when my schedule was jam packed. At the time I thought that if I worked out in the afternoon it’d be a great stress reliever. I’d break up the stressful day with a nice three mile jog or a swim in the pool across the street from work.
In theory, this was awesome, but in practice it was a disaster. By the time the afternoon came around, I had no desire to work out, and was nearly always behind on a variety of tasks, so I’d skip workouts nearly every day.
- Leverage your tendencies to win. I loved to eat lunch out, but if I brought a lunch, my cheap-ass tendencies would mean that I’d eat it. I started packing a lunch to save money. However, I also didn’t like to lunch alone, so I worked on relationships by organizing a book club over lunch. Now I had a brown bag session with a good book and good conversation.
Because of my coach I:
- Coached both of my kid’s soccer teams.
- Created fantastic birthday parties and fun family events.
- Attended church FAR more regularly than I would have without coaching.
- Read fiction and began watching movies.
…and the kicker:
- 4x’d the size of my business at the same time over a three year period.
The last part really didn’t compute. How was I was spending more time on activities outside of work than ever before, but having much greater success at work? My priorities lined up with my actions and I was accomplishing more without stress. In short, I was enjoying my productive time because I also had scheduled down time and family time that met my goals.
I didn’t want to work with a coach. I only did it because I was actually trying to grow my business. Now I’m a true believer that it’s mentors and coaches that can help you achieve much more than you can on your own. I have to constantly remind myself to seek out feedback and use it to improve my product (ME) as much as possible.
Who do you get coaching from?
This post was featured on Mom and Dad Money, Yakezie Carnival, thank you!
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