Good morning! This is a guest post from Vanessa from Liberty-loves-company.com, she writes about using money to buy freedom, how to become financially independent, and what it really means to live the good life. She is lucky to live in New Zealand where the excellent beaches make up for the high cost of living. You can join her on Twitter: @Liberty__loves.
Let me know if you would like to guest post on RFI.
‘Because you’re worth it’. A killer tagline. Of course you’re worth it. It’s a rhetorical statement. The very fact of it justifies the purchase of anything. It’s perfectly true and perfectly vague. It satisfies a desire to feel served and pampered and righteously so.
This sort of emotional manipulation in advertising works day and night to convince you to justify your spending. Your admittedly difficult challenge is to dissect and eliminate the bullshit.
A sense of spending entitlement comes in many convincing disguises. All of these delusions are designed to please a needy version of ourselves that will never be satisfied.
The mental script runs a bit like this:
‘Jesus what a day/week/month! My feet hurt and that shirt is scratchy around my neck. I’m tired of those idiot clients that don’t understand anything about how the industry actually works. I’ve bent over backwards for them all week, I’m smarter and deserve better than this! I’ve sacrificed my time and three years of university, my job is important and stressful, I get home and the kids are on my back already, so this is the very least I can do for myself!’
Long story short – You deserve a treat, goddamn it, and it better be expensive and convenient and naughty and it had better be in front of you immediately – to hell with the expense.
Any variety of temporary pleasure or luxury is suddenly okay – expensive alcohol, table service, subscription magazines, overpriced shampoo, taxis, deli dinners, imported linen. We select from an infinite buffet, an embarrassment of riches.
It’s okay because we have the perfect reason. There is no guilt or deliberation because we are entitled. Because we’re worth it!
Entitlement gets entangled with rights. Rights get confused with expectations. Expectations become habits. We become little emperors who can’t remember a time when we fetched our own slippers or buttered our own toast.
We all have basic rights as human beings. We are all inherently worthy. That applies whether we are supermarket shelf stackers, accountants or European royalty. We have the right to rest, and play and be ourselves. We all have the right to be respected regardless of our position in life.
We don’t need to spend any amount of money to prove or demonstrate that worthiness. A high income doesn’t make you automatically more deserving of luxury or better at handling money. It often just makes you a lifestyle slave. Learn the difference!
Of course you can spend your money on whatever you want. It is absolutely up to you. You can swiftly burn through most of your income very easily by feeding a lifestyle that you have talked yourself into. It might be a lifestyle that suits a person of your age and social standing in a particular culture. It might reflect the lifestyle of your friends. It will seem right for so many reasons.
Just don’t fool yourself into believing that spending money is an entitlement. It’s just a choice. It’s a choice that can take you closer to what you really deserve, or further away.
We deserve the luxury we think we deserve. But, we should need to keep in mind the budget. I think as long as we have the capacity to pay and it makes us feel fulfilled, I see nothing wrong in spending and getting the things we want.
How about amending those slogans and thought processes… “RETIREMENT… Because you’re worth it.” 🙂
haha – I like it. Let’s see the hard sell advertising campaign for retirement
So absolutely true! I’ve been guilty of having a bad week and “needing” a massage, but I do own up to it and accept full responsibility for my actions. I think the biggest entitlement I see is travel…as if somehow you “deserve” it. No, you want it…admit it! 🙂
I’ve never been a person that says “I deserve this.” I buy things because I want them, I don’t deserve anything. I’ve never said “I deserve a vacation,” maybe I’ve said I need a vacation because I need a break, but the places I decide to go is because I want to go there.
I’ve never had to lie to myself saying “I bought this because I deserve it.” I’ve done enough damage to my finances without having to lie to myself. Now I’m working on knowing the difference between a want and a need. I now say, “I want this, but do I need it?”
You really hit on it here Vanessa! Advertisers are great at playing on our emotional states. I’ve fallen for that a time or two in the past. Have to stay vigilant against their tactics, especially when we are tired and worn down. It’s so easy at that point to give in.
I deserve to be financially independent and to keep as much of my money as possible! Not sure how spending money and giving it to others ever gave more satisfaction than having it yourself. Hard to overcome the wants vs. needs and immediate satisfaction vs. long-term health and happiness.
I do like a treat (love a treat) and it is hard to get away from that treat mentality. I have a voucher for a massage and booked it for this week but the spa has cancelled. Straight away I went to book a massage elsewhere at my own expense (voucher was a gift). I’ve had a hard week, I deserve it. But that is another £50 towards my debt, I have resisted!
It’s odd. I usually think of people getting things they truly don’t deserve when I hear the word “entitlement” like people who choose not to work getting food and housing because they breath air. If people do fall for the advertising line “you deserve it,” however, they are entitled to financial insecurity. When you hear that line, get ready to be sold a lot of junk you don’t need. It is an appeal to vanity and greed – not things that make you wealthy.
My wife had this mentality when she was younger. She worked hard and would justify her spending as she “deserves” is for working so hard. Then she would regret the purchase and wonder where all of her money went. It’s great to work hard and one should be proud of that, but don’t get stuck in the thought process of thinking you deserve things just for working hard.
Best. Article. Ever!! I agree 100%! And with Aldo above–“I don’t deserve anything.” I never felt owed or cheated by the world. “Yes, I spontaneously bought those $3 cookies at the checkout even though they weren’t on my grocery list. Because I *deserve* a treat? No. Because I’m a weak, weak man.”
I also wonder why the phrase, “you deserve a treat” began becoming popular? It’s sort of sad. It makes us sound like a golden retriever who just fetched the newspaper from the front door.