Today I am answering money questions for couples that were published on DINKs finance. What are your answers?
1. Would you discuss money on the first date?
Sure. Or at least very early. Check my post On which date should you display financial information?
I couldn’t be with someone who is a financial wreck. Recovering, maybe. But even though you don’t talk too much about money on the first date, there are signs that scream bad financial decisions in the behavior and general talk. If the guy is a primary school teacher, drives a brand new SUV, insists on an expensive restaurant and talks about pursuing a third PhD, I am out. I wouldn’t mind a guy making minimum wage who is happy with his situation (because that gives him free time for XYZ or other reason) and is able to live a balanced life on a low income, but the perpetually broke boyfriend is not going to work.
2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse?
From the start you need to discuss who is paying for the date, how to split the costs of a shared weekend or holiday, and eventually your start having more serious money talks. Again, the sooner the better, because not being on the same page financially could ruin everything.
3. Who always brings up money in your relationship?
I bring up the everyday money topics. What to buy at the store, the cost of the bills… He brings up the long term stuff, buying a car, investing more in the house or 90 acres land development… Overall we are very open, know what each other makes, how we spend our personal money, net worth…
4. Is it harder to manage your money as a couple than it was when you were single?
We have separate finances safe for house and land costs. So everything stayed the same, except that I have to report my spending to BF when I want to claim his half of the expense. I don’t like budgeting but now I have to track my spending or lose half of it.
5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt?
No. Sorry pal, you got yourself in that mess, I don’t have to pay for your past. I would however pay for the occasional night out or holiday if my partner cannot afford it and I really want to go. But would never include their debt in the household budget.
6. Is debt a deal breaker?
Not if you have it under control. I would take a recovering shopaholic but would simply not function on so many other levels with an actual debt addict that I doubt the question would ever come up, the relationship would be over before it even started.
If you are committed to paying off your debt, not incurring some more except for mortgages and investments that bring more than the debt interest, and not trying to pass the burden onto me, we can talk.
7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views?
Totally. Money can stress a lot of relationships and having the same views is primordial. We do not agree on everything but we are on the same page when it comes to how we want to live in the house we co-own, and for all the rest we keep separate finances.
8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money?
No. He is a spender at heart, likes to live well, eat well, and pay for convenience. But he is also very smart in his investments and can afford to do that. The thing is I have other priorities at the moment for my money and can’t always follow his pace, but I am trying to improve my income streams so I can, instead of taking him down to my frugal ways.
How about you?
This post was featured on Debt Roundup