Congratulations, you finally got the guts to get down on one knee and propose to the love of your life. But before you say “I do,” you might want to double check your bank accounts. Here are some money matters to have in order before you walk down the aisle and some valuable resources to help you determine your financial position:
1) You know each other’s financial standings.
- Too many couples dodge discussing money matters. Ideally, you should have covered this before your engagement, but it is vital to discuss it before your wedding. Discuss everything from spending habits to credit card score to debt. Lay it all out on the table—if one party isn’t willing, I’d say that’s a red flag.
2) Both of you have solid credit card scores.
- You two are going to have a hard time making important financial decisions as a couple (such as purchasing your first home) if either one of you has bad credit. If you aren’t sure of your credit card score, I recommend checking out one of several free services you can find online(like Credit Karmaor Credit Sesame) to get a solid estimate.
3) Neither of you are in significant debt.
- With student loans and other commonplace sources of debt, there is a good chance that at least one of you has some outstanding debt. I know it’s not always realistic for all debt to be paid (especially if one or both parties are still in school) but I highly, highly recommend paying off as much as possible before getting married. If necessary, seek out debt consolidation advice (CreditGUARD is a good, affordable one) that can help you find debt relief. Remember: you are held liable for your spouse’s debt.
4) You agree on a realistic budget for the wedding.
- Your wedding and honeymoon are your largest and most immediate expenses. We all want a dream wedding, but it should also be realistic for your budget. Carefully map out all potential expenses. Wedding Wire has a great wedding budget feature that includes those little expenses you might have forgotten.
Your wedding should be a joyful and loving time that precedes a beautiful marriage. Don’t let financial matters cloud your special day. Be smart and be proactive.
Author Bio: David Moran is good with money, photography, and “Call of Duty.” He splits his spare time between his personal finance blog Finance for Your Future and practicing his photography. He currently lives with the love of his life and three rad kids in Chicago.
This post was featured on the Carnival of Financial Camaraderie, The Frugal Farmer, Money Smart Guides, The Carnival of Money Pros, Aspiring Blogger, Carnival of Personal Finance, Carnival of Financial Planning, Personal Finance Carnival, thank you!
moneystepper says
Woo – we pass the test!! Roll on the wedding day! 🙂
David Moran says
Good for you and congratulations! Thanks for reading 🙂
My Wealth Desire says
I have a friend, who hardly smiles while held their wedding ceremony. I learned his mind turned rolling to the expense of his wife’s dream wedding. Financial matters will be sort out before tying a knot with each other.
David Moran says
That’s why it’s so important to set a firm, realistic budget beforehand. You can have a beautiful wedding within your means if you’re smart about it.
FI Pilgrim says
These are extremely important to discuss before getting married, but are often difficult to talk about before becoming engaged. That’s OK. The important thing is to talk about them sooner rather than later. As part of our pre-marital counseling with my pastor, my wife and I were asked to meet with a financial professional in my church to discuss finances together. It was very important!
David Moran says
That’s awesome–my wife and I also met with a financial professional before getting married. It really made all the difference. Thanks for reading!
DC @ Young Adult Money says
I don’t necessarily agree that you need to not have debt to get married. My wife and I both have significant student loans to pay off. We were aware of this before we got married and have both worked hard during our first two years of marriage to make sure we continue to pay it down. I think more importantly you should talk to your future spouse and be on the same page as far as personal finances go.
David Moran says
DC, I agree with you completely. I meant that ideally you would pay off as much as you could before marriage. But if that’s not realistic, you are both on the same page and know how to deal with it in the future.
Holly@ClubThrifty says
My husband and I were on the same page about money before we got married and it definitely made things easier! He did have some debt but I knew that he was taking it seriously.
David Moran says
That’s so important. Good on you for communicating so well before marriage! 🙂
Laurie @thefrugalfarmer says
Love this, David!!! Money fights and problems cause SO much divorce and other heartache. Better to get things in order financially BEFORE the wedding.
David Moran says
Thank you so much, Laurie! I’m glad you liked it.
dojo says
We recently got married, after dating for 11 years. None of us has any debt, we’re on the same firm (mine) for more than a year, have lived together for few years and also did some extensive traveling. We did have ‘the talk’ and have the same goals financially. It’s always important to have all straight and discussed, not wait until you’re married to find yourself in a disastrous situation
John S @ Frugal Rules says
I am with DC on this one in that I don’t necessarily agree that you need not to have debt when getting married. Does it help – of course it does. I see the bigger issue as being on the same page financially and having open communication. That will take you very far in a marriage, but many don’t take the time to do it. This will also reveal if the person is committed to getting out of debt. That was the case for my wife and I as I brought a good bit of debt into the marriage. But, we were on the same page and was already killing it on the debt repayment.
David Moran says
“I see the bigger issue as being on the same page financially and having open communication.” Spot on–that was what I was getting at. If you are on debt, make sure you are both on the same page for how you are going to deal with it. Thanks for reading!
Daisy @ Prairie Eco Thrifter says
Check on all of these points! We do have a significant debt together – our mortgage- but other than that, we are solid. We are working on building a good wedding budget so that we don’t go overboard, and I think we’ll be starting off our married life on the right foot.
David Moran says
Good for you guys! You definitely have a great head on your shoulders. Congratulations on your engagement and good luck! 🙂
MonicaOnMoney says
These are all so important to discuss well before marriage. I now realize how important it is to be in a relationship where we both are on the same page financially!
Color Me Frugal says
All great points. I would also agree that paying off debts beforehand is nice if you can do it, but it’s most important to be on the same page as your partner financially. The hubs and I both came to the marriage with significant student loan debt (actually, we were both in school and accruing debt at the time). We actually had about the same amount of debt and we have long since started tackling both debts so it has not been a big issue. I wrote a post very relevant to this recently that I will include here.
David Moran says
Love your post! I like how you emphasized the importance of seeking out someone with financial savvy. And thanks for reading!
Debt BLAG says
These are all good things. I’d also suggest that you do many of these things before getting engaged, though. I don’t think how much money someone has or how much they make should determine how you feel about them; but how they spend their money says a lot about who they are.
Erin @ My Alternate Life says
As I was a wee tot when I got married (okay, I was 20), I didn’t really think about finances. That said, it all worked out. We have debt (most of it acquired during our marriage) that we are paying off now, our wedding was super frugal, and we have the same goals these days. If I were single now, I would definitely have to know what was up financially with my S.O.-to-be before saying “I do”.
Kevin @ Credit Bureau Insider says
Working together on finances is a big part of making a marriage work. Things tend to get dicey quickly when couples take on extra debt for rings, weddings, and honeymoons without a realistic budget that spans the first several years of marriage.
David Moran says
I agree, it’s an important part of a successful marriage. Thanks for reading!
cj says
Tammy and I ignored all these important questions and we are damn lucky it has worked out. We were not prepared nor were we prepared to purchase a house and cars and other extravagances. We’ve been digging out for the last 2 years and we still have a bit to go, but the light at the end is very near now. Thank goodness!!!
lyle @ the Joy of Simple says
“…but the light at the end is very near now” – Way to go you two 🙂
Lyle
David Moran says
Good for you guys!! It looks like you guys have done an amazing job getting out. Congratulations–you’re almost there!!
Jack @ Enwealthen says
I was unemployed when we got married. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan.
But having had the money talk, and understood each other’s money mindset, we were ready to take the plunge.
David Moran says
You don’t have to have everything together before you get married (I definitely didn’t!) but you just have to make sure that you are both on the same page financially before and it sounds like you and your wife were. Good for you two!
David Moran says
Thanks everyone for reading! 🙂
And I agree, you can definitely get married with debt. The important thing is that you are both on the same page and have worked out a plan on how you will deal with that debt TOGETHER. That’s what’s important: communication.
Brit says
At least in community property states, debts before the marriage are still separate debt and your spouse is not held liable…at least legally. It’s when you begin to commingle your finances, income, etc. that the couple begins to feel jointly responsible. Only if the debt is taken in either both names or after the actual marriage that each spouse is held liable. This is the main reason we didn’t get married while I was in law school, I wanted to protect him from my student loans.
S M Sarowar says
“Spend less than you earn” is the most basic personal finance rule. It’s simple and clear: The only way to build wealth is to have a surplus of money.We should have personal finance, financial planning for enjoyable life.
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