I have been reconnecting with friends last week and it was so good. My group of closest girlfriends always tries to get together when I am around and we spent a lovely day at the beach, catching up on life and creating new memories. While we were there, my friend’s husband said something like “Oh, Pauline is wearing Pauline’s jacket. Do we need to send you a care package to Guatemala so you can wear something else?”.
Pauline’s jacket visiting Europe last summer
Hey, man: I never need my jacket in Guatemala, it is too warm. Before I flew back for a routine-to-me ONE MONTH HOLIDAY you’ll never take in your whole life, the jacket had been packed for 6 months. Prior to that, I did wear it on an almost daily basis while touring Europe and the US on a motorcycle. For 6 months in 2011, and 6 months in 2012, I traveled on those two continents, rode about 50,000 miles and had to limit my belongings to whatever fits in a side pannier (the other one was for BF and the topcase for common stuff like sleeping bags). Hence the unique jacket.
Not much packing space but it is paid for.
It is a $100 jacket I was happy to buy in late 2010, because it is made by Columbia so it is good quality, yet it is a light pink and doesn’t look too outdoorsy to wear outside of a National Park. It is not even three years old (I have known this guy for 15 years so he has seen me in other jackets), it fits well and is very comfortable, so I don’t see why I should change it anytime soon. Meanwhile, in the 30 months since I bought that jacket my net worth has improved 87%, and my friend is still to buy his first house. Pick your battles.
Every day, when you buy things, you make a decision. You decide to allocate a certain amount of money to a certain purchase. Some of the things you buy are part of your survival budget, you need a roof, some food, some clothes, gas for your car or a bus pass. Other things are your personal treats, a cup of coffee, a book, a romantic weekend. You deserve them just as much and without them, life would be boring. I am not about to deprive myself of those little pleasures, food and travel have always been top priority in my spending. I spend copious amounts on each without blinking. Other areas of spending are not that important, and spending more on them would be wasteful to me.
I have lived in 200sqft, have not owned a car until I was 28 and have been wearing the same jacket for three years. I have also bought my first rental property cash right out of college, and left to travel the world for a year with the surplus money I had saved.
While I couldn’t care less about my small living quarters and car-less life (and what people think of it), I am pretty proud of having graduated college with enough savings to buy a flat. And still confused as to why my friend, who is a year older and makes decent money, yet has only one vehicle to his name, can’t see that for every jacket, pack of smokes, and other perishable, non essential things he fills his rented house with, he is taking one more step away from financial independence.
What about you? do you get criticized about a specific frugal trait or do the ones around see the bigger picture?
This post was featured on The Frugal Farmer, The Carnival of Wealth, Carnival of Retirement, thank you!
I don’t understand his mentality at all. If something is working and working very well, why would you change it just for the sake of having something different?
I have worn the same jacket for many years, but to me, I’m not doing it out of frugality, but because it’s comfortable, keeps itself clean, and fits well. In other words, I wear the same jacket every day because I really like that jacket 🙂
If it ever rips, I will probably repair it. If it ever rips beyond repair, then I will lament my lost friend and hope I can find a lightly used version of the same jacket in a used clothing store or online.
I have bought the same pair or jeans three times so far and have to check ebay for slightly used pairs since it is not discontinued. So I guess they think I am wearing the same jeans too haha!
I agree with you that survival budget should be the first priority. There’s not point in spending too much on non-essential things and living in a rented house. Financial freedom/independence starts after you have fulfilled your basic needs like roof, food, and clothing.
Thanks for the insightful piece on financial independence…..
well some people are happy with lots of stuff around, when you define your goals you may want a huge TV because you love your shows but not a state of the art kitchen if you never cook. I would go for the opposite, but some people want it all to be like others and that is where financial trouble starts.
For what it is worth, I like Pauline’s jacket and identify with ‘Pauline’s priorities’. I wear clothes I like, feel confortable and don’t care much whether they are getting a bit old or not. My friends wear designer gear and run wearing full make up :). However, they don’t make fun of me (at least I have not noticed) – have accepted that I am an eccentric academic.
When you talked about “eccentric academic”, I thought about the way my teachers dressed at uni, usually with old flannel jackets and used trousers, probably your friends think you dress the part. My friends see me as a world traveler, savvy investor, wannabe real estate mogul and imagine a fancy Wall Street trader in a sharp black suit, they aren’t used to the easy going digital nomad. I don’t care either way. Running with make up is crazy btw, if she works out enough to sweat she must stain her designer gear!
I do catch some flack for not buying stuff. Sometimes they have a point, sometimes they don’t. I’m working pretty hard at saving money to hit financial independence, but I’m probably failing at achieving a proper balance between spending and saving.
I think I have a fine balance, having a 2 year old bike, or traveling for months at a time, I really don’t care about buying too many clothes that will just stay in storage at my mum’s until I come back next time. My money just go to what is important to me. The period of high savings while waiting for FI is hard because anything your spend delays your FI date, but you do have to live a little and make those years enjoyable, you’ll never be as energetic or healthy as today to enjoy a day off or time with friends.
First of all, I’ve had the same jackets for 5+ years, so I think I’ve got you beat there, haha. We don’t really get a lot of criticism, but it can be difficult sometimes. We have some friends that spend like crazy and they always want us to go on weekend getaways with them. The reality is that we can afford them way more than they can, but we’re often saying no because it’s just not part of our current budget. Everyone’s got their things that they choose to spend money on. Judging someone else’s choices is not an incredibly attractive characteristic.
oh don’t worry, I still own a 10 year old jacket, my lifestyle being more nomadic, and active I can’t wear it much because it is more formal but will take it out once in a while :).
Re your friends, I had the same problem, until I started suggesting fun affordable activities and now we all enjoy our weekends together, they are happy to spend less and able to afford more weekends each year, but I get it if you aren’t into it at all.
Oh we definitely do the more affordable activities too, so it’s not like we completely ignore them. But I do think there’s some tension there with some of the other stuff they want to do. Just part of the deal I think.
I know what you feel like. I’ve been identified and teased about wearing and rewearing many of the same clothes, but I never minded too much. Really, they just suit me. And if something makes me that comfortable and happy to wear, why try something else?
people are going to think you are wearing the same running shoes for a year, omg!
Most of my colleagues and friends always notice my mobile phone. I owned a simple Nokia mobile. I don’t care what other peoples’ comments of my old mobile. The most important is that I bought it cash, not like them (my colleagues) they buy smart phone or latest gadgets through credit card or loan.
haha I have an old phone too, but i lose them all the time, at least a phone per year so buying any phone more than $20 would be stupid.
Correct, the most essential is I can use it to call, send SMS, and can receive call as well.
I get criticized for trying to live a frugal lifestyle by a heap of different people and for a heap of different things.
It can be anything from not buying a chocolate treat at work, to trying to find the best deals possible when shopping for general purchases.
More fool them if you ask me.
one of my favorite songs says “make your own kind of music even if nobody else sings along”. Many of your coworkers are probably insecure in their choices, and buying stuff like sheep because everybody does. Seeing you so secure they need to attack you to confirm they aren’t making a terrible mistake with their lives.
I never thought about it that way, perhaps you are right, although I would have thought when they saw how much money I was saving on my mortgage they might change their tune.
just give them a copy of your ebook already :). I know for some big numbers are hard to apprehend. My mum would pinch pennies but I had to tell her to go pay her mortgage instead of keeping the cash in a 1% account. A mortgage is someone everyone has, they don’t think twice about it.
Dude, I like the jacket! I actually just busted out a t-shirt that is 15 years old the other day. We get some grief occasionally for how frugal we are about things, especially when it comes to others spending our money. We just let it roll off our back and continue to go on sweet vacations and stockpile cash. When we officially retire early, then people will talk smack about that too.
I love my jacket too! hope you send those people a postcard from all your sunny holidays..
We get the same flack all the time, especially from our family. They don’t understand it, so they just ridicule and mock us for our decisions. If we were living on the streets that would be one thing, but we’re not yet they act like we are. Sur, it would be fun to have more things, but why on earth do that? I find that it comes down to priorities and they can’t seem to understand that we have ours and that we have a certain goal that we’re striving for and not just to have more stuff.
they look rich, and you are rich. My mum often asks if I need money, I make more than her.
Are they bikers too? If they aren’t then they really don’t understand how important a good jacket is. I have been using the same one for the past 5 years since it is lightweight and has an optional rain jacket that goes over it. It may not be the warmest jacket I have ever owned, but it gets the job done and I just wear a nice Under Armour turtle neck.
yes, turns out the guy is a biker. He has a cool helmet, cool gloves, a cool jacket… and I have a cool bike lol.
Well, you’re assuming I’m frugal, which I’m not, so I can’t answer your question. Just Kidding! Sometimes the couponing and giveaway-entering gets criticized, but I roll with it. We save so much money by focusing on couponing that I really can’t imagine paying full price at the grocery store. Additionally, it’s starting to pain me to pay full price for things for the house now, since I get deal emails each day with lists of things that are on sale at rock-bottom prices (problem is, you may only see something on sale at these prices once/year…or less). I think everyone wants financial independence, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was jealous of your situation though I also recognize you sacrificed to get there (just like I’m trying to sacrifice to get out of student loan debt, mortgage, etc.!).
I get the couponing when it is criticized by overachievers who run 32 side businesses and make money on their spare time, so wouldn’t clip coupons for a few dollars. But from a lazy couch potato who isn’t productive outside of his/her day job and complaining about being broke, that is weird. I never cliped coupons because I don’t eat much processed food and there is rarely a coupon for tomatoes but I do try to get discounts for other items when buying stuff.
Oh yeah, we know your pain! Anytime we reuse older items or decide to keep old clothes, there are the fools there to haggle and give us a hard time. It’s a crazy thing! To imagine someone criticizing another for being wise with money!
I guess we all have a value system of what is acceptable and not. I wouldn’t eat lentils every day or cut my own hair, while others would consider keeping a jacket for three years just as cheap.
Geez I can totally understand that, especially if you have a limited packing space. It’s versatile and probably goes with a lot of other outfits..so big deal! So if the jacket had major holes in it or gross stains and you were wearing it out to a nice place, then maybe it’s time to replace it. But that’s a functional issue and not a style…I just want a new jacket type of thing. I think people don’t think before they speak. I’m sure he;s a great guy…just kind of said the wrong thing. 🙂
Well shortly after, we were talking about my land development and he said “you know, you just make life look so easy, while the rest of us are struggling”. Yet he couldn’t connect the dots.
Hey Pauline. I’m always taking flack for wearing the same clothes, even from my own wife! If you pay out for quality items though, surely the idea is that they last a long time and as long as you still like wearing it, it doesn’t matter what others think.
that is the idea, quality classics that will last longer and be enjoyable to wear. I could change my closet every season with cheap items that would fall apart in six months but it is so wasteful.
One month holiday? Pfft. I get a for month holiday every winter. even get paid for out thanks to unemployment insurance. I just prefer to take stay-cations! 🙂
lol. I wish I had unemployment insurance back in the UK when I would have given anything to stay in bed during winter!
I get a little nervous every time I visit my family in Kentucky. Where we live now, no one really pays attention to fashion, maybe other things, but certainly not clothes. In the Southern US, you have to buy a new wardrobe every season it seems. They think I have no money because my clothes are the same every time I go back. It’s very hard to explain to them the concept of using money for more valuable things, like security! I really like Pauline’s jacket and Pauline’s mindset!
Kentucky sounds a lot like Guatemala, you can’t possibly wear the same dress at a wedding twice, even though it is a completely different family. Each wedding cost hundreds in clothes only for every woman attending.
Somewhat along the same lines, I usually wear the same 2 pairs of pants all the time. They get washed, and I iron them everyday. But they are still the same pair. People who catch on to this tease me but I don’t care. It is one of those “who cares” attributes about me where I simply brush it off and focus my attention of more important matters.
there are so many more important things than clothes…and I am sure the majority have not noticed you are wearing the same pants.
I love this post, Pauline and your mindset. 🙂 Besides the fact that your jacket is cute and fits you well, you actually LIVE your life, which so many people are desperate to do, but confuse living with consuming. We get it from both sides. Some think we are too extravagant with our vacations but don’t realize that A) It’s our family’s top passion B) We plan a year in advance and save for them. No debt! While others wonder why we don’t have a bigger home, new cars, etc. We could, but then we couldn’t travel. It’s about choices and priorities.
you can’t please everyone. Even envious people are not good. They will see the holidays but not the hard work to afford them.
I am hardly fashion conscious and will wear things until they are worn out. At times, my wife will kid me that I am stuck in the sixties! I don’t care because I am comfortable with what I wear.
I would say that you and your jacket are winning this world battle. You have done so many great things that many only dream of. Why do you need multiple jackets. You find one that you love and you use it until it falls apart. I have done that with clothes for years.
yeaaaaaah, watch out, world!
Agreed — coworkers, friends, family members who aren’t being frugal often resent success. It’s one thing to be catty, but sometimes I’ve noticed people will even try to undermine you, e.g. when you agree to go to lunch, they insist on an expensive restaurant despite your wishes, etc.
I don’t even think they realize it, it is just $10 more than the already overpriced pizza meal, and $10 is “nothing”, they have a lot of arguments to validate a stupid choice. Unless you say sorry, I am deep in debt and can’t afford a meal, then they may understand. I have other priorities, not so much.
I don’t think there’s anything specific people talk about. Right now, my work bag is developing a new hole every other week. Yet, when the strap was about to fall off, I repaired it for $10 rather than buy a new bag for $100. I’m hoping this extends the life until Christmas when I can look for a boxing day deal. That’s where I got my current bag – 4 years ago.
lol I try to make things last until sales as well, unless it is really important.
I think my family sees the bigger picture (for the most part). I do get teased a fair bit for my coupon use, but I’m OK with that because it saves me a ton of money. I’m not trying to impress anybody and in the long run, people who wear the same coat and use coupons are the smart ones because they succeed in the end 😉
your family has a direct proof of what you do with your money with your grandparents so they see the importance of saving and where it goes.
It’s got to be a strange feeling being accused of being too frugal when you’re really taking names/kicking ass and doing exactly what you want all over the world. I feel like this sometimes when my friends who are in a ton of debt try to teach me about finance…
We have known each other since our first year of college. He never gave me much slack when I was shopping at a hard discounter or asking to pay my share when we went out and I had only one drink. But it is like now that he is earning money he should blow it all and then some and so should I instead of planning my future.
Good for you for letting this guy have it about 5 times in one post. We get shit all the time about what we eat and how I dress. We eat mostly fruit and veggies and can survive for an afternoon on a handful of nuts if needed. So we get called tree-huggers. I have a uniform, shorts and a t-shirt. It is used for work, play and everything in between. I get called an ethnic slur for that. We drive a small Japanese made car. Another racial slur is used to describe that. So yeah, we get criticism, but from the few and not the many. I must admit that the inside jokes we make about are really fun!!
A handful of nuts? Now I know why Tammy calls you a wild squirrel :). Boy you get a lot of crap. I wonder why people are so scared when they see someone different that they have to question or ridicule every life choice.
My wife’s family tease her when she wears her socks different colours because she doesn’t mend the one with a hole she throws it in the bin and keeps the other. She thinks, why should I throw the entire pair of socks away if one has a hole and the other is good. So she keeps them and wears them lol… she is frugal in her own little ways and I don’t mind that at all. Her winter jacket we replaced this year and the previous one she had been wearing since 2004 and had holes inside the pockets but otherwise was still in decent shape. She still has that jacket though… i could care less if someone teased me about my frugal ways.. I just keep on living and loving life!!
lol about the socks! I never did that but lamented when my best, warmest socks started to have a hole. Maybe with boots you don’t notice!
This hasn’t happened to me recently, but I know it has in the past (except with my phone). Oh in a different vein, in school a girl had a go at me that I’d not shaved/waxed my legs (in winter), my retort was ‘I’m not trying to look attractive to you’ – but it stung. Truth be told, I have always waxed (which I’m so thankful for now), but they need to grow back. And I don’t really care, cause they feel soft to me always, and that’s what matters. Weird but true.
teens are so mean with physical difference. They don’t understand what is going on with them and need comfort by attacking others to feel like they are the normal ones…
Well, I’d like to think he was joking and it’s nice that he noticed enough about you to point it out – but if the jacket is still holding up, then why switch it up? I have had comments about my previous cars, because they’ve been beaters, but they have come from friends who don’t even have a license.
haha how can people without a car criticize a car is beyond me. As I said in another comment, this guy has a fancy motorcycle jacket, a fancy motorcycle helmet, and I have a fancy motorcycle.
Love the Columbia jacket, Pauline. You wear that thing! 🙂
We too like to spend on what is fun and based on our priorities. We don’t have fancy clothes, cars, or household items, and my bag (purse) has holes in it. Currently, we are paying down debt but do not deprive ourselves. I don’t need many things, but I do love great experiences and will pay for them. We do get our share of ribbing, but we had lots of fodder for the book! 😉
It looks like a nice jacket, rock on! 🙂
I think it’s okay to be teased a little bit, it does come with the territory being choosy with how we spend money. Ultimately, might as well laugh it off or play along and laugh with them. I’ve done that, with the full confidence that my frugal choices are best for me and I fine with that.
By the way, that’s a nice jacket.
thank you! I should laugh at it, that is the smart way to handle it, thanks for the tip.
You go, girl!!!! Some people will just never realize the importance of value-based spending. Most of my every day clothes are on their last legs, and honestly, I really don’t care, b/c I know that we’re putting our money towards debt payoff, which is infinitely more important than me not wearing one of my 5 pairs of crappy sweatpants for the care of what other people think. Great post!!!
Sometimes I don’t understand the things that come out of people’s mouths. I have some clothes that I’ve had for over 5 years.
Jeez you sound like me. I have one nice all use jacket from north face. I got like 6 years ago. Buy quality one time and take care of it and you’ll save money in the long run. I’ll buy a new jacket when my old one no longer keeps me warm and dry. My wife makes fun of me and I get snide comments from friends but I have money in the bank, no debt, a rental property and plan to retire young. My fashion sense hasn’t held me back yet. They’ve got great facebook photos of themselves in fancy clothes all round town, I’ve got great photos of myself in my same coat all over the world.
haha, good for you John! then they will wonder why you don’t need to work when they still need a job in their 60s.
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